The Plays The Thing

f you weren’t aware already, my youngest is my most trying child. In a strange way I love him for that because the other two make my job almost too easy, but this one at least makes things an interesting challenge.

One example is his lack of interest in anything that requires him to sit through anything longer than 30 minutes. He really has to be in the right mood to sit for anything longer. This goes for movies, television, and live theater. It somehow doesn’t include playing video games. Imagine that. A few weeks back was the “big acting debut” of the oldest. The youngest is 9; one would think he could hold the attention span for an hour, especially if big brother is involved. Not so much.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned lately that he also has a flare for the dramatics. Recently he has also obtained a serious condition of hypochondrias. (ooh I never knew the actual disease for it, just the term for the person who has it.) The combination of dramatics and hypochondrias probably go hand in hand. For the last few months he has called grandma from school due to his supposed upset stomach, nausea, headache whatever he can think of to get out of class or go home. He also really gets the shakes and what not if he hasn’t eaten. We took him to see the doc to make sure he was okay, and doc prescribed acid reflux meds, which of course he hates and recently he feels he sorta kind of has been cured but not really, because he now has self diagnosed himself with anxiety attacks. I can’t even make this stuff up if I tried; it’s something new every day. He’s 9 going on 10.

Back to the play…

We of course have to be there way more early than when the play starts and we went through all the pre check motions of making sure everyone’s business was done before going in because: a) there is no bathroom inside the theater b) once the play does start the “theater rules” state, once you leave you can’t get back in. They are pretty hard core about it, I think you’re even banded for the rest of the year or something if you break the rules of the theatre (said in my snobbish British accent). I’m guessing you can guess at this point based on all parenting knowledge you have, that the youngest chose poorly by stating that he didn’t need to go.

Fast forward half an hour later: So far he’s doing well. The first act was pretty deep yet very well done and was just enough to keep his attention and not ask me a million questions that didn’t have to do with the price of tea in China, like he did before the play stated. It’s intermission and should be a reasonable time to take of business, given the opportunity. He passed on the opportunity. Of course he did.

15 minutes into the second act. I’m pretty sure you know where this is going. His sit patiently meter has expired, time to pay the toll. I very clearly stated that he would need to wait all of 15 minutes. 5 minutes later (during which much gnashing of teeth and complaining ensued) he could no longer wait , because suddenly out of nowhere he decided he was very ill and was going to throw-up. He of course made it almost whisper loud enough for the back 3 rows of the audience to hear, us being in the middle. Needless to say my mother swept him out of the theater and when we emerged, he was calm and cool as a clam.

One then must inquire if he really did actually throw up or was it another one of his ploys to get out of a situation he did not want to be in. He said he did. His idea and my idea of this are different, as he feels just spitting in the trash can is close enough. Grandma couldn’t confirm or deny if he really did, since he ran in to the boy’s bathroom.

We then questioned whether it’s some kind of claustrophobia being smack in the middle of a fairly crowded audience in a small theater and possibly feeling like he might be afraid he couldn’t get out. He said he was fine with the crowd. He had eaten dinner so he wasn’t complaining of being hungry. Can you tell I’m trying to deduce what his problem is?

In conclusion, well there is no conclusion until I solve the problem of childhood stubbornness and defiance. That won’t happen anytime soon based on the rate I’m going.


One thought on “The Plays The Thing

  1. I hope it is a psychological thing and that he isn’t really ill. Hopefully you get to the bottom of it soon. I used to get nauseous when I was nervous / anxious about things and actually would throw up sometimes when I was younger – but I don’t see how he’d be nervous about anything in this situation.

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