Last night was another random night. I finished up my MOTY letters and headed to bed. Hubs was having some left over steak for a midnight snack.
I get snuggled into bed and not two minutes later I hear this awful retching sound. I assumed hubs was sick and well you know doing his thing. I didn’t get up since he’s a big boy and can take care of himself, besides ugh! The retching started getting louder and he was booming up the stairs. I decide I better get up and find out why he thinks he needs to retch up stairs.
He’s frantically trying to tell me he’s choking and trying to cough it out. I immediately whip out my ninja Heimlich skills and begin thrusting at him. It’s a no go. Hubs is a tiny bit bigger than I and I knew it was gonna take all I had to thrust it out. We’re both freaking out at this point. He’s desperately trying to purge it out in the sink and I’m asking him what do you want me to do? (You know because he should be able to think coherently and speak while gasping for air..right?) I tell him he needs to get a chair and thrust it out. He finally just told me to call 911 (between gasps of air). Good idea hon! Why didn’t I think of that?
As if my first aid skillz weren’t bad enough, my watching over the patient skills were even worse. I start calling 911, they have to transfer me all over the place and I have to re-explain the story while trying not to freak out. Meanwhile hubs is upstairs and I am downstairs. (pure brilliance on my part) The EMS finally asked the daunting question “is he still conscious?” “Hon are you still conscious?” As I’m yelling up the stairs (again genius). “Uh yeah.” he says between retching. He then said the sweetest words I ever heard, “I got it!”
I’m not going to go into dramatic detail on this hunka hunka piece of steak he tried to swallow, but jeez it looked like half the steak itself.
We both had to sit there and chill for a second as we were both shaking like leaves. I told him he wasn’t allowed to do this ever again as I just lost 20 years of my life.
*Edited to add this back when we lived in East Texas and he will never ever let me forget the brilliance of my life saving skills. Thanks Krissa for reminding me of this little episode, good thing I got it all on tape…I mean blog*