Bitter-Sweet Tea

Another not so catchy title: I’m really this close to having a major break down and am trying so hard to just keep it together.
I could warn that this could get a little whiny(whiney?) and hormonal and all that jazz. Brace yourself.

I’ve tried to keep hopeful about a lot of things…I’m sure you have an idea on some of it. It’s been really just depressing these last few months. The hubs and I are both feeling hopeless. I know he’s trying to be the macho man and be cool and collected about “it” but “it” is really getting uncomfortable fast. So many close calls and maybes and nothings. Another “hope” is in the works but again we’ve gotten to the point where we just don’t even get excited over it any more as we’re so “used to it”. Sigh.

Then there’s my “it” that I’ve been working on to seek other opportunities and decided to keep my focus within and apply for something to expand my horizons so that not my only experience, is what I do now. Sadly, I’ve been cut at the knees and my “opportunity to seek within” has been completely frozen and I’m not able to expand my horizons for several months. ( I really hope you’re getting my drift because I’m to exhausted for specifics)
I won’t get into a lot of details of why I’m not happy to remain but let’s just say I need a little breathing room to be allowed to put family first and take care of things when I need it, and can’t get it where I’m at. Very frustrating.

This whole overall break down thing didn’t upset me too much until I was sitting at the drive thru of McDonalds. All I wanted was a sweet tea. I was behind this beat up car with some people in it and the lady ordered 4 chicken McSandwiches w/cheese and extra pickles and one Mc Sandwich with cheese pickles and mayonaise. She repeated it several times and then confirmed that no lettuce would be added. I knew right then it was going to take awhile. (This has absolutely nothing to do with anything but here it is anyway.)
Luckily Mickey Dees prompts crazy people who order crazy stuff on their sandwiches to move ahead of the drive thru because normal people behind them just want a very Large Very Sweet Tea.
Now a little background story…again. The past few weeks it has been miss or miss on my beverages. If you knew me personally you would know that I am not a person to rock the boat in anyway. If my order is screwed up..I usually deal with it. Not so much anymore. When I pay for a root 44 Dr. Pepper at Sonic it better darn sure taste like Dr. Pepper. If I order a SWEET TEA from McAllisters (known for their sweet tea) and McDonalds it better be SWEET. The past few weeks I’ve complained, got new drinks and still not up to par for sweet tea or Dr. Pepper. It really is to the point of being the story of my life.
Anywho… I get my “Sweet Tea” at Mickey Dees and feel a bit smug as the Mc Chicken family sat waiting for their sandwiches as I drove around and took a hopeful swig of SWEET TEA, the dude in the back (who by the way could have easily been movie Jaccob Black’s brother) yelled; “Wish I had your order!” my sweet tea of course was not sweet but oh so unsweet. Oh the irony and life lesson involved with him just saying those words. It goes on so many levels than sweet tea…the whole grass is not always greener mantra. Right there my friends, I had my little break down. It took my entire power with in not to cry the ugly cry while driving.

I admit I feel like the entire universe is just completely against us and there doesn’t seem to be any rainbow amongst our thunderstorm. Please allow me to note a few more things that make me just want to dig a hole and bury myself.

-The house, God bless it, is having one issue after the other. It leaks like a sieve when it rains…we’ve had A LOT more rain than usual the past few months. You may have heard of our fun flooding we’ve had. It never rains like this in Oklahoma in the summer… ever. First year in decades it’s been like this. It’s only because we’re here, of course.
-We finally got to the point of getting rid of our termites but the dry wall dude hasn’t really finished it and it’s possible there maybe a wall full of water or something that may have to be replaced.
-We got a new riding lawn mower. We’ve only been able to use it a few times as we repeatedly have had to take it back for one issue or the other. We finally completely sent it back and got another. Sorry neighbors!
-My washer this whole time has not been doing the rinse cycle properly, causing my laundry to never ever dry. Figured out it’s been the washer this whole time and not my dryer.

Because clearly I have nothing else to stress about.

I really and truly did not want to complain, as I know I am very blessed (sometimes it’s hard to remember). Believe me I have to hear the rest of the world’s sob stories every day. That in itself is another reason my sanity can’t.. hold… on… much… longer. I also didn’t want you all to think everything is just rainbows and purple kittens around here. I sure hope you didn’t think that. I know I’ve been pretty quiet about it lately because really, the blog is supposed to be my little lame attempt to humor someone, even if that someone is only myself. Thanks for hearing me out again…


4 thoughts on “Bitter-Sweet Tea

  1. You know it doesn’t matter if your life is “better” or “worse” than someone else’s? It’s YOUR life and sometimes it just sucks. It might seem like “nothing” to me, but I don’t have to live with it every day. You might think my bug issues (I’ll be writing about them soon) are nothing, but they’re driving me crazy!
    Please don’t feel like you always have to put on a happy face. I know I want to make my blog HAPPY and SUNNY and PRETTY all the time so people will LIKE ME, but sometimes you just have to let it out!
    I hope your writing this made you feel better and I hope and pray that things will start looking up for you soon!

  2. Sometimes a girl has to vent! Yes – humor yourself and us, but vent, too. You’ve gotta keep it real, you know? I hear you on the feeling like nothing ever gives – I’ve been there. I can’t say I’m there now, cause really I’d be lying – but you know I’ve been there and. it. sucks.

    I really hope you guys finally get some good things happening in your life cause you really deserve it. Good luck finding something else in the job front that makes you happy and meets your needs. Keep your head up and that sweet tea will find it’s way to you!

  3. You have to be able to let it out. You have been remarkably strong through all this. But you have to have days that you break down. Have a good cry, but then get back up and be strong again. My thoughts are with you.

  4. It’s okay. Things are gonna get better. Something has to give! You know, everything happens for a reason and it may be many years down the road before we see why you were put in this situation; or maybe never. But we have to hold onto that there is a higher reasoning that we cannot understand. We all have times like this, you certainly aren’t alone. Hang in there, vent all you want, cry all you want….whatever it takes to put that foot back on the floor and begin the next day with a fresh start. Somethings comin’ your way…I can feel it! 🙂

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