I’m Not Gonna Lie or Hide

I think I’ve tried (at least attempted) to carry on likebusiness as usual around here, but I’m not gonna lie or hide I’ve got the blah blahdoms and I need to get it out. Posting something light and content worthy almost feels stressful. I also just have nothing even close to post that is worthy and chipper to report.

We wait every day with baited hope for a magical phone call or e-mail to arrive. To hear anything  at this point would be a blessing. The hubs has sent in multiple resumes a day and yet we hear nothing. No interviews, no we will get in touch, nothing. It’s very sobering and gut wrenching at the same time.

I feel the days ticking by, though the day itself seems so long and tedious, and I admit I become anxiety stricken. The various scenarios play out in my head..if this than this..or this than this..  The hubs has to constantly reassure me and keep me focused. We run through the financial playbook every day. He still reminds me everyday we’re A OK! Cause we are and I have certainly added that to my list of grateful things. The rent is paid, utilities are paid, all that’s left is eating for the rest of the month. We’re OK! So many can’t say that.  We can also be thankful that unemployment will finally kick in soon as well. Hopefully we won’t have to linger with it long.

I know that the higher up has this all planned out (as I believe he’s been setting things in motion for this for awhile) and I just have to let him take the wheel and let him fly. I just wish I could get a brief glimpse of what’s in store, cause I’m not big on surprises and like to have some kind of plan. It would help out so much and I could get the ball rolling. Just knowing what I need to do or need to plan to do, would help me out so much down here big guy…hint ..hint..hint…

I’m also in the glass half empty mode. I already believe we will be moving and most likely to OK. Many would think that moving back “home” to family and friends would be something to look forward to. In some cases yes, but the Libra in me also has to weigh things out and the pros of staying here outweigh the pros of going there. The main number one cause is that; I HATE the thought of my boys being moved yet again to another school to adapt, adjust, and apply- if that makes sense. I just don’t believe a kid should have to go through so many changes when adjusting to regular school alone is hard enough, much less starting all over again and again and again, just makes school life even harder.

I’m already feeling a tinge better just letting it all hang out.  WE ARE OK  and that’s all that matters!

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5 thoughts on “I’m Not Gonna Lie or Hide

  1. Ugh I soooooo remember and loathed the waiting game – Dan sent out a TON of resumes and you know it started with us being all snooty about how marketable he was and oh we’d be fine, but seriously – this economy SUCKS – it is very sobering indeed. But you know, since you read all about it, that in the end it worked out and he got a great job and yes it meant changes but all for the best right? RIGHT?? 😛

    As for the moving and schools and angst over that – it isn’t ideal but it won’t ruin them. I moved a LOT as a kid and went to a lot of different schools. I think I went to three elementary schools, two middle schools and two high schools all in all? There are things I regret about that, but you know I’m fine and they would be too if that’s what happens. Just know that they will be okay, you know?

  2. My fingers are crossed for you! I know it is so very hard to wait around, and while the time goes fast… it’s slow too when you are not getting replies. I had many days and nights of stress and worry too, so I understand. *hugs* I am thinking about you guys everyday and am here if you need anything… just let me know.

  3. So sorry you are going through this. I really can’t imagine how stressed out you must be. I complain all the time about my husbands long hours and inconsiderate boss, but the fact of the matter is that he is very lucky to have his job.

    I will keep my fingers crossed that you get that magical phone call or email!

  4. I feel your pain. Your kids will be fine. They are resiliant. I moved in 1st grade, between 5th & 6th grade, between 6th and 7th grade, in 9th grade twice, between 9th and 10th grade, and in 11th grade, and I survived. Moving isn’t the worst thing in the world. Hang in there.

  5. Sorry I’ve been out of pocket. Just wanted to say hang in there. Just went through the same thing this time last year. It’s so stressful and I can really relate to that. I think you have a great attitude about it and you are doing much better than I would with everything. Take a bubble bath, go walk around a floral shop or greenhouse, go buy a Wendy’s frosty, (by yourself) anything to perk your spirits! You owe it to yourself!

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