(Insert catchy People’s Court theme music here)
The victim/prosecutor Jean claims that she left Thursday night June 18th 2009 to return library books and other various errands; leaving her 2 canines in the trusty care of themselves. When she came home her precious books were strewn about the floor, pages chewed and strewn from all parts of the house. Jean is punishing for personal damage and emotional distress. She knows she can’t get money from the defendant and is only seeking a fair punishment.
This is the case of eaten words. The parties our now entering the courtroom and this session is already in progress.
Judge: Mrs. Jean, I’ve read over your case; could you please for the record explain what happened.
Jean: Your honor, this dog completely wrecked and ate my small personal collection of books! The books were
neatly haphazardly stacked on a book shelf in my living room, it’s not like I had them laying in the floor with a big sign saying eat me and enjoy. She also ate my treasured Twilight book that was on the coffee table. She blatantly chose MY book over the other random items set on the coffee table. I think she has a personal vendetta to eat my stuff only and specifically my Twilight book, since she is named after the main character of the book. If I knew she didn’t like her name, she could have just told me. Your honor, I’m really upset about this!
Judge: Do you have the evidence and any witnesses that it was the defendent?
Jean: I have both your honor!
Judge: What makes sure that it was the defendant and not the witness, who looks just as guilty?
Jean: Because your honor, Mr. Annakin Sky Walker only has a taste for old shoes and tennis balls.
(Gasps from the audience!)
Judge: What say you Bella Storm Cullen?
Bella: What can I say? My mom and I have great “taste” in books.
Judge: Your punishment is a grounding from all books of any kind whether it be the victims or any other books in the household. I am sentencing you to the back yard in the scorching Texas heat, where only water and limited shade will be provided; until the victim decides likewise that you may come in (which wont be long as she tends to have a soft spot for doggies exposed outside for to long).
Mrs. Jean, I also hope you have learned a lesson in all this in that though the books were properly put away, you will place them on a higher shelf that she cannot get to, when your away.
Jean: Yes your honor!
Judge (pounding gavel) Court dismissed.